Daily Nugget of Gold 680
When we think of self esteem, what comes to mind? A measurement of self worth? An indication of how good we feel about ourselves? Most of us would agree that this is a yardstick-type measurement of how we feel about ourselves from our own perspective. What do we have to go by when we make such measurements? Do we look at each and every single person we know well, whom we know as friends, move to associates and then to acquaintances and ask all of their opinions about us? Do we evaluate all we’ve done to make a difference in other people’s lives? Do we also scientifically total up the differences that they in turn made in someone else’s life based on what we did? No, that’s not usually how it works.
So how do we come up with such a measurement? Well, it’s just about a guarantee that if we feel depressed or hurt by our measurement that we are basing our opinion of ourselves on just the way one person is treating us. We literally ignore all of the other things there are to evaluate and put so much importance on this one person’s opinion that we act like all the other people in our lives don’t exist, and anything we ever did for anybody anywhere never counted. When people are depressed or hurt about how they perceive their value, it’s almost always because of a blowing out of proportion of some sort of rejection from someone seen as significant.
We can do something about this which will change it all around. Understand that human beings cannot be measured any more than we can pass judgment on them, no matter how intimately we believe we know someone, including ourselves. There is no such thing as a “good girl” or a “good man” or a “wonderful human being” or a “bad seed” or a “rotten egg” entirely. Every person who has ever walked the planet, or whom ever will has both good and bad habits and has so many interactions with other people that a definitive measurement is impossible. Not only that, but if we narrow down the scope of what criteria we are using to form this opinion by the extremely warped perception that only one person in our life matters, then we have indeed made a massive error in judgment.
“Low self esteem” is also partnered with a belief that events outside ourselves choose our moods. That’s a lie. Events are one thing, what we believe an event means to us is entirely something else. Our interpretation of what someone said, something that happened, or what someone did leads us to feel a certain way. If we are feeling down and depressed- or even elated by the actions of someone or something else, the only reason is that we are allowing ourselves to feel that way. Now it’s okay in most instances to feel good, feel great, and to feel joy and happiness- but it should never be conditioned on just one person or one event making us feel that way. We feel what we agree to feel, and you know this because you know that different people feel differently about the exact same input.
Don’t play the self-esteem game. Know that your value as a human being is beyond anyone’s ability to measure, including yours. You never, ever can have a zero self worth unless you choose to ignore the vast majority of what it is to be you. Never give anyone else the kind of power and control that they would have if your existence solely depended on them alone, it doesn’t, it never can, and if you’re honest with yourself, it never will.
Question of the Day to Ask Ourselves
“What can I do today to remind myself that my worth is far beyond my ability to measure?”
Copyright 2012 Kevin Littleton, all rights reserved.