Daily Nugget of Gold 684
Demandingness From Others
A couple of issues ago we discussed the obnoxiousness of the trait of demandingness within ourselves, and it has since occurred to us that we are sometimes the subject of people who exhibit this behavior upon us. Notice we didn’t call ourselves a victim of it, because victimization of it would also require our consent to feel that way and we choose not to. Instead we have chosen to learn from it and to sharpen our own sense of humor when we see it attempted upon us. In good cheer then, we have the ability to deflect and diffuse it.
The author is amused when it happens and has made the observation that most of the people who practice it in an attempt to get the author to do or not do something are also almost always not a subscriber to this newsletter, even when offered the chance to be beforehand. This is not to gloat, but to point out that the people who most respect the author’s opinion on things rarely place such demands on him. Look at the people in your own life who tend to be the most demanding on you to conform to their wishes when you believe what they say is not in your best interest- are they people you believe love you and admire you as a human being? Do they respect your opinion on things? Or is it that maybe they are more likely just looking out for their own self-interest and don’t really care much about yours?
Now, we wish to point out that what we said doesn’t mean we should hate these people, nor should we judge them as being unworthy or bad. We only want to help in organizing how much importance you may want to place on their opinion about conforming to their wishes when it’s not in what you’ve concluded to be in your own best interest to do so. Many times we waste a lot of valuable emotional energy fighting with such people and the major harm which comes from that is a negative state of mind for ourselves and our attracting more instances of similar people, situations, and events to us under The Law of Attraction.
If you believe in your heart that they’re wrong about something, instead of dwelling on that, tell yourself and tell them that you love them for some other noticeable positive trait or behavior, focus on that when you cheerfully say that “We’ll just have to agree to disagree on that” and walk away with a sense of joy in knowing you just overcame one of the major hurdles we face in living our day to day lives with people who see things differently than we do.
Now if they pointed out something that you agree isn’t a good thing for you to be doing or to think, just thank them nicely and vow to yourself to work harder at making that change you decided to make about yourself. Understand who is truly on your side in life, and also understand who might be attempting to change you for the worse. From there apply the level of importance of their opinion to yourself which is in accordance with your own perception of how much they genuinely care about you and your own outcomes in life. Love them just the same, even if they don’t meet that test- by forgiving them and blessing them- to yourself.
Question of the Day to Ask Ourselves
“Does everyone who thinks I should or shouldn’t do something always have my best interest at heart?”
Copyright 2012 Kevin Littleton, all rights reserved.