Daily Nugget of Gold 704
Is it Really That Important?
Do you know what consumes a great deal of the average person’s mental and physical energy? Little things of little importance. Trivial matters which in the grand scheme of things, mean nothing at all. What do we mean by that? Any petty annoyance that we allow ourselves to focus on instead of the bigger picture. Suppose we find a glob of toothpaste in the sink. Shall we scold our child each time it happens? What’s really important here, that we convey our love and gratitude for having them in our lives or that we make them make absolutely sure they never do that again or despise us because we make them feel like they can never do anything right. Now, if your child developed a habit of doing that, you may want to suggest another approach in the teeth cleaning process, maybe show them how you’d like them to rinse the sink, but riding this point each and every time this happens will not convey love, but an obsession that they behave perfectly- something we don’t ourselves do in every regard.
If someone cooked you a dinner and you found one of the things they cooked not as good as you usually like it to be, do you point that out? Do you refuse to eat it because it wasn’t perfect? If your coworker hums while she works near you, do you tell her to knock it off because it drives you crazy? If you give a task for someone to do and they don’t do it exactly how you do it, do you call that “the wrong way” even if it pretty much achieves the same results?
There are an infinite number of things in life which may annoy us. The way to turn the trivial matters into divorces, firings, and fights is to focus on them instead of what’s really important. What are you happy and grateful for about the other person? So often people will say, “I try everything to get along with them, but nothing works!” when really it’s “They still refuse to be exactly as I want them to be by doing everything the way I want them to do it.” The problem isn’t out there, it’s “in here” (pointing to your heart).
Everyone has minor frustrations, but people have been killed over a parking space, over a comment that was misinterpreted, over a glance at someone’s girlfriend. Now we’re not suggesting you’d be that petty, but many people do allow minor frustrations to kill an important relationship, to cost them their job, or to end a wonderful friendship. What’s better for you? Always having things your way and being miserably disappointed and alone or building loving and productive relationships instead by focusing on what’s right and praising and blessing that instead?
One of the best ways to spot a negative person is by how much they complain about anything and everything and a negative person rarely rises to the top of their game no matter what department of their life we’re talking about. Rather than express or suppress your frustration, work harder on yourself to resolve it in you and free yourself from letting it get to you in the first place.
Question of the Day to Ask Ourselves
“When petty annoyances happen, how can I focus on what’s truly most important in my life?”
Copyright 2012 Kevin Littleton, all rights reserved.