“You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.” – Dr. Seuss
Daily Nugget of Gold 1241
Letting Go of Grudges
Have you ever held a grudge against someone? Let’s be honest, we’ve all done this from time to time, haven’t we? Now let’s talk a little about the difference between holding a grudge and being careful with how we are involved with someone. If we hold a grudge, it seems that we are just waiting for any little tidbit of negative information as to what they are doing or thinking which might confirm to us that they’re “no good” in some way. If we did see them doing something positive, immediately we find ourselves questioning their motives. “He’s attempting to manipulate me” might be the thought we have.
It’s easy to see ourselves being in the middle of a growing process, where we’ve learned from our mistakes in things like being a nicer, more loving person. Unfortunately, sometimes we don’t apply that belief to another. Yes, the person may have attempted to have manipulate you in the past, but could it be possible that they’ve learned from their mistakes and are now just genuinely being nice? Could it be that they feel guilt for doing that before and now might want to make up for it? Haven’t you yourself gone through a similar learning process?
One of the best ways we know of to see the best in other people and help them attain it is to avoid speaking ill of anyone. That’s gossip anyhow, and it serves no real purpose other than devaluing ourselves when we engage in it. A better way of getting along with people would be to look for their good traits and compliment them on them both in front of them and to others when they aren’t around. If someone begins to dwell on their faults, one tactful way to handle that would be to admit that everyone has faults, “especially me”. We’re rather fond of saying that we are intimately aware of our bad habits and faults, because it’s so true. Aren’t you?
So yes, we do want to be careful with a person who has shown a pattern of trying to harm us in some way or another, especially if they seem to be uninterested in changing, but we do want to afford them the chance to improve but it doesn’t have to be with ourselves actively in the mix. We can choose to not associate with another person, or not give them a position of authority, and that’s okay. We just don’t want to come to the conclusion that no matter what they’ll do, it’ll be meaningless and worthless. Let’s be open to the possibility of improvement and let’s praise and congratulate them when we see them do right. Who knows? Maybe we might help them make the changes they’ve really wanted to make in themselves all along.
Question of the Day to Ask Ourselves
“What tactics can I employ to disconnect myself from conversations that devolve into gossip?”
Copyright 2014 Kevin Littleton, all rights reserved.